how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
