I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
