Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
