I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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