So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
