Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
