So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
