If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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