That's intense
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
BRING THE BAGELS
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
