I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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