I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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