If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
