It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
