That's intense
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
