New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
