I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I cannot find my penis.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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