You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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