I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
