Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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