If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
