4 words: hood of his car
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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