I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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