that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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