with your own penis?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
