When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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