My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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