can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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