this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
