Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
