Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my shit smells like andre
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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