how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
