you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
