your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
