My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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