what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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