so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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