i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
