drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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