I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
