420 ftw
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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