there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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