I cockslap morals
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Randomize
