Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
