Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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