Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So many bounce houses so little time
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
