life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
third nipple confirmed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
