How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's great music for shaving your balls
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
