How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
