fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
