Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you win again, gameday.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
