I am in a vortex of obligation.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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