Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
