Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
